Mike Owings was preparing a large amount of meat for a barbecue competition scheduled to take place at a festival in the town of Danville when he got into a dispute with another pit-master about who was hogging a smoker they were supposed to share. Things got more and more heated until Owings reached into the pit and grabbed a brisket, which he lobbed at the victim, hitting her slightly above her own brisket -- and causing burns to her back and shoulder.
Cops arrived at the scene too late to retrieve the weapon, but they did carve out assault charges against Owings.
The suspect, described as a man in his 40s or 50s with short, gray hair and a goatee, has been spotted crawling around on the floor in the research library of Florida International University -- in an attempt to sniff the feet of as many strangers as possible. The nosy no-goodnik has been at it since late August, and has been spotted on several different surveillance cameras.
When apprehended, the library loser could be booked on charges of lewd and lascivious behavior.